RESOLUTION One of my favorite pieces of classical music is Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber. We listen mostly to Christian music around our house, but there’s a special place in my heart for classical. I grew up in a house where, if the radio was on, it was tuned to the classical music station. When we traveled, it was a classical eight-track tape in the car. And when I was small, I often rode my stick horse around the house accompanied by the Boston Pops (there were permanent scratches on some of our records as a result of my violent galloping next to the stereo console). Back to Barber’s Adagio for Strings. I bring it up as an example of the topic of this devotional – resolution. The dictionary’s general definition of “resolution” is “the act of solving or ending a problem or difficulty.” However, like many words, several sub-definitions exist. Some of the headings for the definitions of the word are: Literature – as in the resolution of conflict in the plot of a story Optics – as in a high-resolution image Character – as in the resolution of pioneer women Government – as in voting on a resolution And there is another: Music - the progression of harmony as a whole from a dissonance to a consonance. Adagio for Strings is a study in tension and resolution. For the first several minutes of the piece, it’s as if the music is trying to find resolution, but can’t quite achieve it. Two separate musical themes vie for your attention. They are content to weave back and forth, trading the melody line, but there is constant tension between them. Over and over they reach out for resolution, but the notes just miss each other and the dissonance remains. Then, at about the five-minute mark, the tension begins to grow in intensity until, at about the six-and-a-half minute mark, the dissonance reaches a crescendo in one long note. And my brain cries, “Enough!” And then the note beautifully resolves into an amazing progression of chords. And the dissonance disappears. And the composer spends the rest of the piece bringing the listener back down again to enjoy a quiet single melody line as the piece ends. I’m sure there are technical music terms to describe all that, but I don’t know them. Our ears love to hear musical dissonance resolve. The dissonance produces tension in us. It feels wrong; it feels like all is not right in our world. And when the blessed resolution occurs, we are able to relax and the negative pressure we’ve been feeling melts away into peace. The same thing happens with our spirits. When I have a conflict with Erin, or anyone else, it produces tension in me. It feels wrong; it feels like all is not right in my world. And when the blessed resolution occurs, I am able to relax and the negative pressure I’ve been feeling melts away into peace. Unless you live in a cave by yourself in the mountains, conflict in your life is inevitable. Some view conflict as a problem to be solved. I think as Christians we should look at it more as a challenging opportunity to demonstrate God’s love and grace. Paul summarizes our mandate in Romans 12: 18: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” But it is often impossible to avoid conflict. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul encourages a couple of feuding women to “live in harmony in the Lord,” a sentiment we can all apply to our lives (4:2). Earlier in the same letter, Paul asks the Philippians to make his “joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (2:2-4).” Let’s take a look at that passage and see what it teaches us about conflict resolution. Two sets of four phrases each, make up these verses. Here is the first foursome: “Being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.” Each of those four phrases describes two Christians who are moving together in the same direction; walking the trail hand in hand, with a common goal in sight. When in conflict with another Believer, it is crucial to remember that, as much as we might disagree on an issue, we are walking together; we’re on the same team, and our common goal is to glorify God! Is the personal conflict worth jeopardizing that? The next foursome is split into two pairs, a “don’t” and then a corresponding “do,” then another “don’t” and yet another answering “do.” Here’s the “don’t” of the first pair: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.” Most people, even Christians, have a pretty healthy opinion of themselves. Hopefully, now that we’re getting a bit older, our opinion of ourselves is becoming significantly more realistic after spending a lifetime with a front-row seat to the effects of our own destructive pride! I am reminded of Romans 12:16, where Paul commands, “Be of the same mind toward one another (we just heard that in Philippians!); do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.” And the corresponding “do:” “But with humility of mind let each of you regard the other as more important than himself.” Ah, humility, that elusive creature. Can you imagine how many conflicts would die stillborn if we would just put away our pride and exercise humility? How many times have you and I created dissonance in the music of our lives and the lives of others because we thought far too highly of ourselves? Looking outward rather than inward is basic to the effective Christian life and absolutely necessary to the process of conflict resolution. Let’s move on to the second pair of the foursome. Here’s the negative: “Do not look out merely for your own personal interests.” Selfishness goes hand in hand with pride when it comes to producing conflict in our relationships. “Of course my needs, not his, are the most important ones in this relationship.” Conflict. “She did not fulfill my expectations.” Tension. “It’s not my problem if that bothers him.” Dissonance. “It may be important to you, but I don’t care.” Discord. And the final positive: “But also [look out for] the interests of others.” The website enduringword.com put it this way: “As we put away our selfish ambitions, our conceit, and our tendencies to be high-minded and self-absorbed, we will naturally have a greater concern for the interests and needs of others.” We can’t very well walk in their shoes, but we can try to see through their eyes to better understand their perspective. Of course there is more to conflict resolution than humility and selflessness. We haven’t even touched on grace, mercy, forgiveness or love. But these two attitudes are a very practical place to begin. I encourage you, when the dissonance in your relationship with that person begins to grow, like the dissonance grows in Barber’s Adagio, exercise humility and selflessness, and you’re very much more likely to experience resolution; peace and harmony and glory to God. For a much deeper dive into conflict resolution, read The Path of a Peacemaker by Ken Sande, the founder of Peacemaker Ministries in Billings. The organization is dedicated to walking folks through the process of reconciliation, relying on Scriptural principles every step of the way.

CONSIDER IT ALL JOY Our Connect group has been studying what is, in my opinion, one of the most practical books in the Bible, the letter from James. If you have never done so, I encourage you to read the entire letter, in one sitting if possible. But brace yourself, because James pulls no punches. If there’s something in your life that is not the way God says it should be, James is going to let you have it, right between the eyes! I always think of James as kind of like that on-fire Christian – you know, the one you avoid at fellowship time because you know he’s going to ask you 1) whether you are reading your Bible consistently and 2) what God is teaching you right now. In chapter 1, James jumps right into the meat of his letter by urging the recipients, the Jews scattered by persecution, to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (verses 2-4).” We’ve all lived long enough to know that if you are not currently experiencing a trial, then either you are just coming out of one, or one is coming down the pike very soon. That’s not pessimistic thinking, it’s reality in this broken world. Chuck Swindoll says that often, the music of life is played in a minor key. Our perspective on the hardships and difficulties of life is directly influenced by how we view God. The world uses adversity and suffering as an excuse to reject God’s very existence. “I’d believe in God if there weren’t so much suffering in the world.” Or, “If there is a God, where was he when my fill in the blank with a family member got cancer and died?” But the Christian is to consider those hard, painful things “pure joy”. Why? Because hard times are fun and we just love and look forward to them? Of course not. No one enjoys difficulty and painful circumstances. No, the reason we’re to consider our sufferings “joy” is because we have God’s assurance of what it should produce in us –Perseverance. Endurance. Determination. Persistence. Stamina. Fortitude. Grit. Tenacity. Yes, I used the “thesaurus” function in Word! But perseverance is not the end product, as attractive a descriptor as it is. God doesn’t want to simply produce Christians with stick-to-it-iveness, who bear up under trials. No, that is just the intermediate goal. The final goal is growth; it is Christian maturity. We all like to think we’re mature, especially the older we get. But it’s certainly not a given. We’ve all met older folks whose outlook on life is about as deep as the kiddie wading pool in the park. It’s sometimes jarring when we encounter such a shallow perspective. We naturally assume by their gray hair (or the lack of hair), that the heart has gained some vigor and intensity. And occasionally, it’s not true. I would suggest that such a person has either not experienced much heartbreak and deep pain, or that they have not allowed that pain to change them. Maturity develops as we bear up under suffering and hard things and pain, and put our trust in God through it all. A.W. Tozer famously said, “It is doubtful God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.” So are we to go looking for painful experiences, so as to increase our Christian maturity? We would speculate about the sanity of a person who held that view. No, it doesn’t require searching out; “trials of many kinds” naturally come to us. And unfortunately, as much as we would like to join the world sometimes in blaming God for those trials, we can’t lay the responsibility on Him. He created mankind with free will. Without free will, love, the basis of God’s economy, could not exist. But with free will arrived sin. And that sin caused the fall from perfection of both mankind and creation. The final result is all the pain, suffering and hardship we experience from the time we can recognize it until the day we die. So, yes, we want to: 1) persevere through the struggles and 2) come out the other side as more mature Christians. The first step is relatively easy. No, I didn’t say “easy.” I said “relatively easy,” as in comparison to step number two. When I was in the middle of some very painful and very public trials, I was asked, “How are you making it through this?” I have no recollection of how I responded then, but now, looking back, I think, “What is the alternative?” You’ve been there, too, I know. How in the world did you survive that devastating disaster? that catastrophic calamity? that awful tragedy? that horrifying event? I can tell you. You woke up every morning (assuming that you slept the night before), you asked God to give you the strength to survive until lunch, you put your feet on the floor, and you did what you had to do. We either persevere or we check out, ending up curled in the fetal position, sucking our thumb. So yes, we’re going to get through the painful things, but how to come out the other side with enhanced godly perspective, deepened godly understanding and more passionate love for God and for others? That is the question. The challenge is to come out the other side of the pain a more mature Christian. The answer lies in staying very close to God. It’s His work to do in our lives. Where else can we find our comfort and power and the love we need to make it through? Who else can we turn to who knows our situation better? Who else will listen to our cries and always respond perfectly? Who else can offer us the exact balance we need between compassion and tough love, to move onward and upward? And instead of viewing the trial as God being uncaring and callous, understand that it is almost certainly His way of making us more like Jesus. Because isn’t that the goal of our lives? Christlikeness? Steven Curtis Chapman, one of my favorite Christian artists, wrote a song back in 2001 called Bring It On . In it, he sings, “Now, I don't want to sound like some hero, 'cause it's God alone that my hope is in. But I'm not gonna run from the very things that would drive me closer to Him, so bring it on.” He knew that often the hardest things in our lives work to make us more like Christ – more mature! We cling to Him, we pray to Him, we hope in Him, we listen to His Word, we continue to love Him and others. If we do those things even through the pain, we end up looking a bit more like Jesus.  For further encouragement, read II Corinthians 4:16-18

AGING  It has been said many times and in many different ways, “Growing older is not for the faint of heart. When I was young I was skeptical. I’m quickly becoming a believer. Now I realize that, at age 62, I’m younger than most who are reading or listening to this devotional. But the indicators of age are definitely encroaching upon me. If you know my wife Erin, you know that she is very soft-spoken. However, I find myself asking her to repeat herself far more often than I did when we were first married, about fifteen years ago. I had my hearing tested not long after we were married and was told that I had lost a bit more than 10%. I have not been back since. I don’t want to know how much that number has increased! And speaking of hearing, I was talking the other day to an older gentleman who had recently purchased a new hearing aid. He was telling me how terrific it was, and how he hadn’t heard this well in years, and how it was definitely worth the price he had paid. I said, “What kind is it?” He responded, “I think it’s about 4:00.” Also, like several of you men, I’ve had some unpleasantness with my prostate. I’ll not elaborate. If you’re one of those men, you understand. And I could go on, regaling you with stories of hair loss, vision deterioration, crepey skin, neuropathy, back pain (remember the days when you could sleep for twelve straight hours?), memory issues, decreased energy and creaky joints. My son recently called me out for making “old man noises” when I sat down next to him. I hadn’t even heard myself doing it. You know probably better than I do that this is a time of increasing vulnerability and dependence, limitation and isolation. Pastor and writer Stuart Briscoe called aging a time of “diminishing.” It’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Lest I begin to discourage both of us with all this talk of diminishing, let’s not forget the upside! Hopefully we make wiser decisions than we used to and are a bit more stable emotionally. We tend to focus more on the things that matter, like relationships and meaningful experiences. We’ve learned to manage our expectations and let go of some of the relational stresses that used to weigh us down. And on the more concrete side of things, most of us have the house to ourselves, the stress of full-time employment is gone, and we have a lot more free time than we used to have. And of course, many of us have grandchildren (and even great grandchildren) to love on. The Bible has quite a bit to say about aging. Even though we’re getting older, we’re still called to follow closely after God. Proverbs 16:31 says, “A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness.” Righteousness is not just a young person’s game. Right living - following God’s commands in our thoughts, words and actions - never gets old. Getting older doesn’t mean we dry up, either. Psalm 92:14 uses the imagery of fruit trees, encouraging us who are getting on in years to keep on producing spiritual fruit. “The righteous…will still yield fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap and very green.” I pray that you are still very green (I know that you are full of sap), and that you are still yielding fruit. At the mention of fruit, my mind immediately jumps to Galatians 5:22,23, where Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” How is your fruit production lately? I’ve heard some older folks say, “Now that I’m X years old, I’m all done with ministry. I’ve passed the baton on to the younger generation. Let them do the work now.” I’m afraid the Psalmist doesn’t allow that attitude. If you’re discouraged about ministry, ask God to open up an opportunity for you (See my emails dated May 1st and May 8th where I mention a “helps” ministry, if you need an idea of where to plug in. And more opportunities for ministry with the seniors are just over the horizon). In II Corinthians 4:16 Paul writes, “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.” I’m not sure I care for the word “decaying” that the NASB uses, but other versions are no better. The NIV says “wasting away,” the KJV uses the word “perishing,” and the Living Bible paraphrases it “dying.” I don’t really think Paul was specifically talking about old age here. I think he was referring to the physical deterioration every adult faces all throughout his or her life. I had a college roommate who often said, “We all started dying the day we were born.” Not very uplifting, and pretty atypical language for a twenty-something young man (my roommate was very…eh…unique), but it’s true. Paul knew it, too, and used it to encourage, not discourage the Corinthians. Here’s the Snyder Paraphrase of II Corinthians 4:16: “We may be losing our physical faculties little by little throughout our lives, but God continues to watch over our spiritual life until the day we go to meet Him.” And that’s something to rejoice about! My parents began their slow decline into dementia and eventually death about fifteen years ago. I wish I had found Isaiah 46:4 then. It would have encouraged me in my moments of despondency as I watched them fade away. I’m now about fifteen years younger than the age they were then, and the verse encourages me now regarding my own life. “Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.” What encouraging words! He made us and has carried us along every day of our lives (which is mentioned in the verse just prior to this verse). And He will continue to carry us even as we age. And he will deliver us! God doesn’t say what He delivers us from, but I’ll bet I could get a few “amens” if I said many of us need to be delivered from discouragement. It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re dealing with loneliness or grief or chronic pain or isolation or the loss of your independence or fear. So be encouraged today. God has not left you alone. He loves you and He is, even now, carrying you in His all-powerful and everlasting arms. Rest there. Our son is former army; he owns several guns, one of which is an AR-15 that he built himself; he works armed security at a gated nuclear site and lifts weights for an hour every day as part of his job (needless to say, we don’t wrestle anymore like we did when he was ten). I recently watched him one evening tenderly carry, one at time, his two sons, ages three and one, off to their beds. He’s a big, powerful guy and yet the gentleness and love he showed to Cody and Tyler was a great picture of how God, so big that He’s present everywhere and so powerful that He has no rival, carries us gently and tenderly. Remember how close your face was to your small child when you carried him or her to bed? That’s how close God’s face is to you. Talk to him. Pour out your grief and fear. And rest in His arms. Only the strong live this long, but it’s important to remember that God is still, and always will be, carrying us like a small child when we are too weak and frightened to find the way ourselves.

DAVID AND GOLIATH, PART TWO They moved toward each other, the Philistine army following some distance behind Goliath, eager for the long-awaited victory sure to be theirs. No one followed behind David; he was completely alone, or so it appeared. As they neared each other, the size difference became more obvious. When they were close enough to communicate, the giant saw his opponent and began to threaten the boy, mock Israel and blaspheme their god. The boy looked this mountain of a man up and down. He noted the armor; he saw the javelin, sword and spear; he couldn’t help but realize that he had no earthly chance of defeating such a warrior. But that didn’t faze him in the slightest, because it wasn’t an earthly chance he needed. His victory would come directly from heaven. His voice rang out across the valley so both sides could hear him: “You come to me with a sword, a spear and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. And I will give the dead bodies of the army of the Philistines this day to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord’s and He will give you into our hands.” (I Samuel 17:45-47) Pretty big talk from such a relatively little guy. But Goliath felt the sting of it and rose to the challenge. He moved forward to swat this little fly and end the game. David ran across the relatively flat valley floor – yes, ran – to meet him, and when Goliath was in range, David took from his ammunition pouch a smooth, round stone, one that he had picked right out of the streambed of Nahal HeEla that very afternoon. And he let fly. A few months ago I thought it would be kind of fun to learn to sling, so I went on a website that sells them and found that swinging a sling in a circle a bunch of times around your head is not necessary for effectiveness. In fact, one twirl is all that is necessary. It’s an extremely quick process. If David had started zinging that thing around his head repeatedly, Goliath would probably have at least raised his shield for a moment. But he had no warning at all. David had that stone placed in the pouch and in the air in probably less than three seconds. And slung stones fly amazingly fast. Videos on that slinging website I mentioned showed incredible speed and accuracy, easily lethal. So Goliath never saw it coming. That stone hit him square in his massive forehead and killed him. He fell like a redwood. It’s interesting that I Samuel 17:50 says the stone killed him. But then verse 51 says David, having no sword, ran up to Goliath’s inert body, took his sword and cut off his head, killing him with it. The only man in the Bible to be killed twice! I say that tongue-in-cheek, because I find this description of events, as gory as it is, to be both inspiring and humorous, and I’m willing to give the writer of I Samuel a pass and not question him as to why he says both the stone and the sword killed Goliath separately! Goliath was dead in the middle of the valley floor. Cries of alarm and shock rose from the south. Shouts of incredulity which then turned to fierce victory rose from the north, and it only took a moment for the army of Israel to come streaming across the valley, attack and route the discombobulated Philistines. I hope you’ve enjoyed this dive into the history of Israel and David. But there is a takeaway. I’ve always wondered how David could be so confident that God would save the day. Would you or I have volunteered? He was essentially betting his life on the belief that God would step in and win this battle. I think part of the reason for his limitless confidence lies in what happened in I Samuel 16 when David was anointed the next king of Israel by Samuel. That was an ironclad guarantee of life. We are not guaranteed tomorrow; David was guaranteed the crown. And he used that guarantee to bring glory to God by killing Goliath. But what about us? We are to live by faith and not by sight (II Corinthians 5:7) in a world with no guarantees. The world in which we live is a dangerous place. Our families, our reputations, our homes, our livelihoods, our retirement years, our health, our very lives, can be damaged or even destroyed in short order by circumstances beyond our control. The giants we face don’t wear armor or wield a sword. Our giants are fear, false accusations, grief, betrayal, declining health, loss of income, unfair or even illegal business practices, deceit, violence, anxiety and depression, disease, greed, fractured families, addictions, ungodly attitudes and selfishness. Add your own giant to the list if I’ve neglected it. But we have guarantees, too, just like David did. These guarantees don’t promise us the kingdom of Israel or even continued life here on earth, but they do promise us peace of mind, the presence of our Father in our lives as we square up against our giants, joy, victory over sin and, in the end, eternal life in glory with God. Pretty iron-clad if you ask me! How about some promises to ponder: The writer of Hebrews reminds us that God “will never desert you, nor will He forsake you (13:5).” Some of the last words Jesus spoke were, “I am with you always, to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).” I Peter 2:9 says that we are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession.” The writer of Hebrews encourages us again in 4:16, telling us, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need,” and in 13:6, “We can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Peter again: “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you (I Peter 5:7).” And don’t forget Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Against the ultimate giant, death, we know that “to live is Christ, and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21),” …and I Corinthians 15:53-57: “ For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: ‘Death is swallowed up in victory.’ ‘O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Our ultimate victory, whatever we face here on earth, was bought by the blood of Jesus on the cross. “In all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us (Romans 8:37).” And finally, Jesus told us, in John 16:33, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” So be encouraged today. You possess the same power that David did; the awesome, unstoppable power of almighty God. Face up against those giants in your life with confidence, trusting God’s promises to see you through.

DAVID AND GOLIATH, PART ONE It was hot overlooking the flat, treeless Valley of Elah. Approximately two and half miles long and just under half a mile wide at its widest, the valley ran east/west. The stream, Nahal HeEla, ran only during the rainy season, so right now the streambed was dry. The Israelite army, commanded by King Saul, was camped in the hills on the northern side of the valley. The Philistine army was camped in the southern hills, at approximately the same elevation. In other words, the armies, a mile apart, looked each other dead in the eye about two hundred feet above the valley floor. The men of the army of Israel milled about aimlessly. It was almost time. Tension built. Tempers flared over minor issues. Work ceased all through the camp. No one began a task, no matter how small, because in just a few moments they would be interrupted. And the soldiers of Israel were not disappointed. Brazen trumpets blared across the valley to the south. The soldiers left what they were supposed to be doing and filed partway down the slope to a point just above the valley floor. A large portion of the Philistine army was marching north across the valley toward them. Most stopped halfway across, but two continued on to within a long bowshot of the watching Jewish army. One of the two men was absolutely enormous, between nine and ten feet tall. Rumor had it that his armor weighed over one hundred and twenty pounds and that on his massive spear, the head alone weighed a cool fifteen pounds. His name was Goliath. He shouted to the watching Israelite army, “Why bother using your whole army? Am I not Philistine enough for you? And you’re all committed to Saul, aren’t you? So pick your best fighter and pit him against me. If he gets the upper hand and kills me, the Philistines will all become your slaves. But if I get the upper hand and kill him, you’ll all become our slaves and serve us. I challenge the troops of Israel this day. Give me a man. Let us fight it out together!” (I Samuel 17:8-10 The Message) This was not the first time the giant had issued the challenge. He’d been at it every day for almost six weeks. But the entire army of Israelites still melted away in fear, back up the hill to their camp. And the giant laughed in derision. Where was the king of Israel in all this? You remember, Saul, the man who was both the most handsome and tallest man in Israel (I Samuel 9:2)? I looked briefly online, and most scholars believe the average height of men in those days was probably around five foot six. But I Samuel 9:2 says Saul was head and shoulders taller than anyone in Israel, not just the average man. I’m just guessing, but I would think some of the tallest men in Israel would have been around six feet tall. Again, I’m speculating, but I believe that would put Saul at maybe six ten or more. You included Saul in a mass of Israelite men and you would see his head and shoulders sticking up. He literally stood out in a crowd! Almost seven feet tall is a far cry from nine foot nine inches, but Saul, as warrior king of Israel, seems like the natural choice to fight Goliath. And this single combat was apparently not an unusual thing in the ancient world at that time. I Samuel 17:4 says that Goliath was “a champion.” You don’t get that moniker simply by being the biggest guy around. It’s clear that he’d done this sort of thing before and come out on top. But why would any king, backed by an army, even consider such a thing? Have you ever wondered why Saul let this go on forty days? Saul had three choices: 1) fight Goliath alone, 2) attack with his army or 3) withdraw altogether. It had to be terribly demoralizing to his men to hear Goliath’s taunts every day. Why continue this daily circus? Saul lacked the integrity and courage to pursue any of the three choices. God had rejected him (I Samuel 15:26), the kingdom had been torn from him (I Samuel 15:28) and most importantly, the Holy Spirit had left him (I Samuel 16:14). He was a shell of a leader at this point and would be for the rest of his life. He knew full-well that fighting Goliath alone would cost him his life. Goliath was huge and experienced, and besides, Samuel had told Saul that God already had a replacement king waiting in the wings (I Samuel 15:28). And, of course, asking God for help was out of the question. Saul was not walking with God. It would be a short and bitter battle and his entire army would watch him humiliated and destroyed. Saul was very proud and I’m sure would not want to leave that kind of legacy. Attacking was also out of the question. God specifically mentions Saul in I Samuel 17:11, when describing the reaction of the Israelite army to Goliath’s taunts: “Saul and all Israel…were dismayed and greatly afraid.” I doubt the idea of attacking the Philistines ever entered Saul’s mind. He was terrified. And withdrawing wouldn’t solve anything. The Philistine army would simply advance farther and farther into Israel until either Saul surrendered or took a stand and fought them somewhere else. So Saul was caught between two rocks and a hard place. He wouldn’t fight Goliath himself, attacking with his army wasn’t an option and retreating would solve nothing. And then a teenager showed up who believed God would save the day. David certainly had no idea what was in store for him when he got up that morning. He could not have known that he was going to be transformed from “lunch delivery boy” to “champion of God” and “giant-slayer,” all before supper. It was probably after noon by now and the heat was intensifying in the Valley of Elah. Several hundred yards from the southern verge of the valley stood a giant, nearly ten feet tall. Beside him, dwarfed, was his armor bearer, of normal height. Filling the valley behind him, was the Philistine army. Facing Goliath, having just made his way down the slope toward the northern verge of the valley, now standing out on the valley floor about a quarter of a mile from the giant, was a teenage boy. No Israelite soldiers followed him. The giant “had a bronze helmet on his head, and he was clothed with scale-armor which weighed five thousand shekels of bronze [about 125 pounds]. He also had bronze greaves on his legs and a bronze javelin slung between his shoulders. And the shaft of his spear was like a weaver’s beam and the head of his spear weighed six hundred shekels of iron [about 15 pounds].” I Samuel 17:5-7 (NASB). The teenager wore no armor; only the simple clothes he had put on before he left home that morning. He carried only a shepherd’s sling, composed of two cords, each about 24 inches in length, with a thong in the middle. The sling was used to defend his father’s sheep from predators, though this teenager was known to use his bare hands on occasion! He was no pushover, but also no match for the huge, seasoned warrior across the valley. The boy, however, was special. Yes, he had been secretly anointed the next king of Israel. That was special, but not special enough to win this battle. The title “King” didn’t provide courage or bring victory. After all, the current king of Israel was cowering in his tent a safe distance from the battle line. No, what made this teenager special was his unwavering belief that YHWH would win the day and he was glad to simply be the weapon He would use to accomplish that victory. To be continued...

BABIES In 2025, my morning devotional was New Morning Mercies, by Paul David Tripp. I dog-eared September 24 because it had an extra impact on me. I’d like to share a paragraph with you. He wrote of God, “ He is the sun that gives us light. He is a refuge where we can hide. He is the water that nourishes us. And the bread that feeds us. He is the solid rock on which we stand. He is the Captain who defends us against the enemy. He is wisdom, blessing us with the insight of truth. He is the Lamb that bore the penalty for our sin. He is the High Priest who daily brings our case to the Father. He is the faithful friend who will not forsake us even in our worst moments. He is the Giver who blesses us with spiritual riches that we could never earn. He is the one who makes us aware of our sin and brings conviction to our hearts. He is the Shepherd who seeks us when we have wandered and are lost, and brings us back to the fold of His care. None of these actions is a luxury for us. They are all necessary ingredients of our spiritual lives, yet they are not things that we could ever provide for ourselves. We are like babies. Unable to meet our own needs and completely dependent on the love of our Father for life, sustenance and health.” Our daughter had a baby girl on Friday, April 10th . Lola June Anderson is our third grandchild, but the first who lives in Helena, so we are looking forward to exercising our grandparenting muscles more often now. Lola is only two weeks old and is completely dependent on her parents for everything. She’s a sweet little thing, but she is completely helpless. And will be for quite awhile. I remember watching a Christian comedian a few years ago, describing, tongue in cheek, how once, in frustration, he railed at his four-month-old son, “Can’t you do anything for yourself?!” Just like those little babies, we are completely unable to do anything for ourselves, spiritually. Even the most educated, wise and experienced Christian is completely helpless without God.  Let me summarize what our Father provides for us from the Paul David Tripp paragraph I quoted above: light, security, water, food, stability, defense, insight, substitution, intercession, friendship and support, spiritual riches, conviction and rescue. The proud will bristle, because total dependence smacks of humiliation. The strong will object because total dependence implies weakness. In our world that values only strength and self-sufficiency, admitting that I am unable to provide for myself is unacceptable. Confessing that I am completely helpless is intolerable. Many will object: “No one can operate or bargain from a position of weakness.” Of course not; there is no “operating or bargaining” to be done. They will say, “But I must bring something to the table!” No, God expects nothing from you; He already knows that you have nothing to offer. And even with that knowledge, He provides everything you need from His infinite storehouse. Remember II Peter 1:3: “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” And Philippians 4:19: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Don’t bristle; lay aside your pride and rejoice that God thinks so highly of you as to provide all your needs. And grace upon grace, He also occasionally provides you with your wants! We sang Great is Thy Faithfulness in church recently. Sing it again to yourself as you read, “All I have needed Thy Hand has provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.” What should our daily response be to such grace and provision? Paul David Tripp places a fitting benediction on his devotional. “All praise, honor, worship, and service go to God and God alone. He sought us, He birthed us, He sustains us. He matures us. He protects us. And He will finally deliver us. To Him be the glory. Amen.”

Luck Do any of the following phrases sound familiar to you? “I’m feeling lucky today!” “As luck would have it…” “That was beginner’s luck!” “The luck of the draw.” “What an unlucky break.” “You lucky dog!” “Don’t push your luck.” “You got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?” (Dirty Harry). We’ve all heard those statements, probably even said them ourselves a time or two (except maybe the Dirty Harry line). But is there really any such thing as luck? Here’s the definition of luck from the Cambridge Dictionary: “The force that causes things, especially good things, to happen to you by chance and not as a result of your own effort or abilities.” Really? The “force?” It sounds very mysterious and nebulous; like the Cambridge Dictionary folks were watching a Star Wars movie when they wrote that definition. The watershed ridgeline, or litmus test, as to what you call that “force,” of course, is whether you believe in a personal God or not. Without such a God, what else but luck could produce the circumstances in our lives? If no Designer exists, no Supreme Being presides, no King rules, then anything and everything that has ever happened to you or to me or to anyone else in history has been completely random. I spent my undergraduate years at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, in the 1980s. I was there at the same time as Pastor John, though we never met. We moved in completely different circles, because I was getting a degree in Biology Education so that I could teach secondary science, and he was studying to enter the ministry. It’s very possible, however, that we sat near each other in Chapel or in Old Testament Survey or in the cafeteria, and never knew it! My science courses at Liberty were all taught by Christian professors, and the curriculum approached the issue of both origins and science from a Biblical perspective. God created the heavens and the earth, and everything in existence is a direct result of the infinitely creative and ever-loving Hand of our heavenly Father. And that Father/Creator is, even today, intimately involved in every aspect of every life that has ever lived, including ours. In the 1990s, with a bit of teaching under my belt, I attended graduate school at Montana State University in Bozeman and spent most of my time in the Biology Department, pursuing a Master’s Degree. MSU approached the issues of origins and science from a perspective diametrically opposed to that of Liberty: There is no God. Everything we see in the world around us today is the result of luck. Billions of years of it, shaping our world and its inhabitants ever so slowly. No direction, no design, no plan, just sheer faceless luck. Proponents of that viewpoint call it “chance.” This perspective has always struck me as extremely bleak and hopeless. Because in a world ruled by chance, human lives are devoid of meaning. If my existence is a cosmic coincidence caused by the random collisions of atoms and molecules over billions of years, then of what value is it? And of what value is anyone else’s existence, for that matter? We’re all the products of blind luck! And when I die, I will cease to exist, just like all who have gone before me. My life has no meaning. I’m not sure how people who believe this can even sleep at night. And if you drill down far enough, you conclude that nothing has any real meaning; it’s all just a big cosmic joke, and you and I are the butt. If, on the other hand, I was created personally by a loving God who knew my name before time began and is intimately involved in every area of my life, then I have infinite worth. I am loved and I have purpose. My value is inestimable. And when I die, I have the promise of spending eternity with my Creator Father. Next time you’re having trouble sleeping, just meditate on the wonderful concept of a loving Creator who not only knows your name, but sent His only Son to die in your place for all the wrong you’ve ever done and ever will do. You are held in high esteem by the very Creator of the universe! In case you are unaware, the Bible clearly teaches of the identity and power of the Creator and the infinite value of the creation, and especially of mankind. Isaiah 44:24 reads, “Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, and the one who formed you from the womb, ‘I, the Lord, am the maker of all things, stretching out the heavens by Myself, and spreading out the earth all alone.’” God made everything that exists. I won’t take the space to quote all of Job chapters 38-41, but in response to Job’s well-meant but woefully incomplete understanding of God, God proceeds to challenge Job, beginning with the question, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth!” After almost seventy verses of forcefully guiding Job on a tour of His power, majesty and control over His creation, God takes a figurative breath and Job responds with, “I am insignificant; what can I reply to Thee? I lay my hand on my mouth.” But God isn’t finished with Job. He sings a second verse, finishing up fifty-some verses later and causing Job to finally acknowledge that, like us, he hasn’t the slightest clue as to the almighty power and creative genius of God. And he finally says, like we should also, when we are tempted to believe those who preach that “chance rules all,” “No purpose of Thine can be thwarted…I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees Thee. Therefore, I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes.” Psalm 139 can’t be any clearer about the means by which humans have come into existence. David writes, “For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee.” (:13-18) God created us individually and is intimately involved in our lives, loving and guiding us at every moment. Here are the two worldviews side by side. The first is that the world is godless, directionless, ruled by random chance; the second is that the world is designed for us, full of meaning and significance and ruled by a loving, personal God. The first promises a bleak, hopeless and meaningless future, and requires nothing of us; the second promises a future that is bright and joyful, but requires our faith and obedience.  I’m taking the second worldview, thank you. To anyone who chooses the first, I say good luck with that.

“Mary” Though Resurrection Sunday is now past, I’d like revisit it with you. One of my favorite scenes in the entire Bible is found in John 20. You remember the story. Jesus was dead. Joseph of Arimathea and the Pharisee who came to Jesus in the night, Nicodemus, had to rush the preparation of Jesus’ body for burial because of the impending Sabbath. So Mary of Magdala and a few other women went back to the tomb very early Sunday morning to perform a post-Sabbath touch-up final treatment of the body. John only names Mary, but Matthew, Mark and Luke all mention several women. That is not a discrepancy; John focused on only one woman, as the rest of this section will show, so he left the others out of his description of events. Now, how crazy is this: I’m currently reading a book by Lee Strobel called Seeing the Supernatural, not expecting to read anything remotely connected with the women at the tomb. And today, a scant day after I wrote the above paragraph, I came across a discussion of how many women came to the tomb Sunday morning and whether, since the Gospels don’t agree, they can be trusted! And I read that the device employed by an author, of highlighting one character even though others are present, just like John did here, has a name. It’s called literary spotlighting. Interestingly, it’s clear that John was aware that other women were present at the tomb, because in his account, when Mary later reported to Peter and John what had happened, she said, “we do not know where they have laid Him.” When the women arrived, they were presented with the most astonishing scene possible; the stone had been rolled away from the opening to the tomb (:1)! Matthew, Mark and Luke tell us that the women looked inside, certainly expecting to see the body of Jesus, but were confronted instead by angel or two (depending on the Gospel version) who told them that Jesus was alive. John tells us only that Mary saw the stone rolled away and then ran to tell Peter and John. Keep in mind that John is telling a different story than the other Gospel writers, employing literary spotlighting, focusing on several personal, one-on-one interactions of Jesus after the resurrection. He’ll relate the story of Thomas in a similar way and later, the story of Peter on the beach. So Mary ran away, unaware of the good news of Jesus’ resurrection (:2). All she knew was that the body was missing. She ran to Peter and John to tell them the bad news. All three then made a beeline for the tomb, John winning the footrace but then stopping just short of the finish line by not entering (:3-5). Peter then arrived, puffing and blowing, pushed past John and entered the tomb. John joined him and they both observed the graveclothes of Jesus (:6-9). This sight caused at least John to believe (:8). A lot has, notably, been made of the shape of those graveclothes. They were in the shape of the body of Jesus! Something else about them that you rarely hear, however, is that, according to John 19:39, that Jesus-shaped shell of graveclothes weighed between seventy- five and one hundred pounds! Peter and John then departed the scene (:10), leaving Mary by herself outside. The thought that Jesus was alive had never entered her mind. Things were happening way too fast for her. But the most overwhelmingly important thing to her right then was that the body of Jesus was missing and she needed to find it in order to care for it. Mary, weeping, finally went into the tomb and there encountered two angels – they apparently weren’t there when Peter and John went in (:11). She explained to the angels that her tears resulted from her inability to fulfill her desire to care for the body of Jesus. She completely missed the fact that she was talking to two angels (:12,13)! She then stepped out of the tomb and saw a man close by. It was the risen Jesus, but she didn’t recognize Him (:14). Some have said that her failure to recognize Jesus was a result of the tears in her eyes obscuring her vision, but more likely it was a supernatural blinding. The same thing happened to Cleopas and his friend when they encountered Jesus walking home from Jerusalem to Emmaus in Luke 24. Mary has very likely been weeping since before the crucifixion. I think we can probably all relate. We’ve suffered the loss of a loved one, and the tears just won’t stop. We think we have them under control, only to have them return full force a few minutes or hours later. At times, we can barely function, the emotions are so overwhelming. That was Mary. She was beside herself with grief. She was crushed and devastated. Just like you and I have been. Jesus asked her why she was weeping. She had no idea who this man was who was asking her such a personal question, but she figured he must work there, so instead of answering his question (which may not even have registered with her) she asked him if he knew where the body of Jesus could be found (:15). He didn’t answer her as she expected. He simply said her name. “Mary!” And her eyes were open and she recognized Jesus (:16)! Have you ever been asked what Bible event you would like to witness? I am sure we share some big, powerful events on our lists, like the destruction of the walls of Jericho, David killing Goliath, the parting of the Red Sea, Gideon’s victory, the dedication of the Temple by Solomon, the crucifixion. But also on my list is this moment: seeing Mary’s face as recognition dawned. I doubt there has ever been someone as despondent as Mary was at that moment. Jesus, whom she had loved with every fiber of her being, was unexpectedly dead. And it had been so sudden. It’s possible that she had just seen Him Thursday afternoon before He celebrated Passover with the Twelve, and by Friday afternoon He was dead! There had been no good-bye. She couldn’t understand how this could even have happened at all. Jesus was so powerful that He could cast out demons, He could heal any disease, He could even raise Lazarus from the dead! How could He Himself be dead?! I imagine she was still in shock to a degree. She had seen Jesus die on the cross, but Joseph and Nicodemus had taken His body down and then whisked it away for hasty preparation and burial. She had been outside the tomb when they interred the body, but everything had been so rushed, she had never had the opportunity to kiss Jesus’ face or touch His hand or weep over His body. She needed to see Him! And now she wasn’t even going to be allowed to weep over Him because His body had been stolen! No one seemed to know anything. Maybe this man could help her find Jesus. Instead, Jesus said, “Mary!” No fanfare. Just her name. We can only use our imaginations to describe the scene, but I picture her temporarily losing the use of her legs. Her knees may have buckled as her bewildered brain tried to make sense of that familiar voice. Every feature of her face transformed from utter despair to unadulterated joy in a moment. If she did fall to the ground, I don’t imagine it took long for her to regain the use of her legs and launch herself at Jesus, crying “Teacher!” We have all lost people we loved dearly. This may be painful for you, because nothing we do will ever bring them back from death like Jesus came back. But to attempt to get just a slight taste of what Mary felt in that moment, try to imagine your loved one suddenly appearing in real life, in the flesh, as you unlock your back door and walk into your house. Or there they are, standing with open arms when you walk into your kitchen. And they say your name with love and affection. You can hear their familiar voice and see them, healthy and strong. [Okay, I’m crying now myself, so let’s get back to Mary and wrap this up.] We know Mary launched herself at Jesus, because in verse 17, Jesus said to her, “Stop clinging to Me!” She must have been incredulous, wondering if this was real, and exploding with joy. I imagine a thousand questions occurred to her later on, but right now she simply held on to Jesus as tightly as she could for as long as she was allowed. Are you hurting today? Are you grieving? Let these Scriptures sink in and encourage you; The righteous cry and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17,18 He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. II Corinthians 1:3,4 Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:25,26 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7 One last point to make. If you have a personal relationship with Jesus; if you have surrendered your will to Him, then someday you will see Him face to face, just like Mary did. Well, probably not exactly like Mary did; probably more the way John saw Jesus in Revelation 1: “Among the lampstands I saw one like a son of man, clothed in a robe reaching to the feet, and girded across His chest with a golden sash. His head and His hair were white like white wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire. His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of many waters. In His right hand He held seven stars, and out of His mouth came a sharp two-edged sword; and His face was like the sun shining in its strength.” That sounds more than a bit daunting to us now, maybe even bordering on terrifying, but I don’t think it will be that way when you stand before Him. He will look at you with love in His eyes and He will say your name. And He will stretch out His nail-scarred hands to you. And I imagine your knees will buckle, and when you recover, you will launch yourself into His arms and He will hold you close. And He will not tell you to stop clinging to Him, but will welcome you to your eternal home where you will worship and love and serve Him with never-ending joy.

The Death of the Lamb, Part 3 I had heard that it could take as long as four days for the crucified to die and asked Simon if he wanted to leave the horrible scene, as some others already had, making their way miserably back into Jerusalem. He said he would stay until the end. But he didn't think death would take nearly as long coming as it usually did for those crucified. He said that by the look of Jesus’ back and head, which was still ringed by the crown of thorns, he had lost so much blood from the scourging and the beating that it would only be a matter of hours before he was dead. I had heard that sometimes those sentenced to scourging and crucifixion didn't even live long enough to make it to the cross. I guess it depended on how enthusiastic the scourgers were. I decided to stay with Simon. I felt that I owed it to Jesus. He had changed my life. Before he had come along, I was focused only on myself and what I could get out of life and out of others. But Jesus taught me that my focus needed to be on others, not for what I could get from them, but for what I could give to them. You don't leave a man who has made that kind of impact on your life alone to die. Simon and I sat down on the stony ground, a little apart from the rest of the people. I glanced up at the sky to check the time and suddenly noticed that the clear day had become overcast and gloomy. But by my estimate it could be no later than the third hour from sunrise. The morning wore on. My lamb had fallen asleep. I held it gently on my lap and stroked its wool. It was comforting to feel its warmth and to watch it breathing. I leaned over and whispered, “You, little one, were spared from death today. Because of Jesus death, you're going to become a pet for my little sister instead of a sacrifice for sin.” The lamb slept on, oblivious to its salvation. The Roman column that had escorted the procession to Golgotha was now idle. These men had seen so much death that crucifixions made no impact on them. They were just doing their jobs and now they were simply bored. A few of them now and again would mock Jesus, saying such things as, “Save yourself! Come down from the cross!” Or, “If you're truly the Son of God, as you say, come down!” Even the men who were being crucified alongside Jesus said these things. And I must admit that I couldn’t help thinking the same thing. If Jesus really was the Deliverer, where had his power gone? I had heard about how he raised a man from the dead in nearby Bethany a few weeks ago. If a man could defeat death like that, how could he have allowed himself to be taken like this and nailed to a cross? I confess that I began to doubt, sitting there hour after hour on the uncomfortable rocks. But then I remembered all the things I had seen Jesus do, and I remembered so many of his words, and first and foremost I remembered his words of forgiveness for those who were executing him, and my doubts withered. No mere man could say those words and really mean them. Yes, Jesus was who he claimed to be. I would go on believing him even if I didn't understand what was happening. Later in the morning, the religious leaders came out and began to mock Jesus. I was appalled. These were our spiritual leaders, and there they strutted in their long rich robes, gloating before Jesus and shouting to us, “He could save others, but not himself! Surely you don't still believe that he is your Messiah?” I was completely disillusioned. If these spiritual giants could be so consumed by hatred and vindictiveness, what hope was there for a simple, uneducated country boy like me? And then, with a flash, I remembered the words of Jesus during one of those confrontations with the religious leaders. He had said to them with fire in his eyes, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. Even so, you too outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” And right then, I knew. These men may be religious, but they didn't know God. And I decided right then that I would continue to respect their position, but I would never again follow what they taught. I would follow the teachings of Jesus. They didn't stay long at Golgotha. Apparently, the rabble and the stench of blood and mangled flesh didn't agree with their refined senses. They certainly seemed satisfied with themselves as they walked away though. The morning wore on. Jesus, head bowed, was suffering unimaginable pain now with every movement he made. Flies swarmed over his wounds. Now and again he would raise his battered body, suffering the agony it produced, just to get a precious lungful of air. I had heard that almost every victim of crucifixion died of asphyxiation; finally, not able to lift the weight of his body from off his lungs, he simply suffocated. The sky’s gloom grew deeper and deeper. Soon the crosses could only dimly be distinguished in the murky light. By midday, total darkness had fallen. It was almost as if God was shielding His eyes from the scene. The darkness quieted most, although weeping could still be heard from some of the women. The puzzled and alarmed soldiers sent into the city for lamps and placed several of them on the ground. Suddenly we were in an island of light, surrounded on all sides by blackest night. The lamplight, weakened by the murk, cast only a faint glow upward on Jesus, producing ghastly shadows that transformed his ever kind and gentle face into a grimacing, misshapen terror. This spectacle, combined with the stillness of the air produced an eerie, awesome effect. The afternoon passed slowly. The darkness, almost tangible, beat down unbearably upon us, like a black, heavy blanket trying to penetrate our tiny haven of light. No one spoke, and the soldiers no longer mocked Jesus, but sat silently, except for one group that sat apart gambling. Their laughter was jarring in the stillness. My lamb awoke and, frightened by the darkness and the silence and the scent of blood, bleated softly. I bent to comfort and quiet it. As I did, it occurred to me that right about now was the time of the sacrifices in the temple. As the ninth hour neared, I could see that the Teacher's agony was intensifying. His movements, although restricted by the nails, became more agitated. His entire body began to quiver, certainly causing unbearable pain, but he made no sound. Suddenly he lifted his battered face toward heaven and with a trembling yet amazingly strong voice, cried out in anguish, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” The utter despair in that cry pierced my heart like a blade of ice, and I wept again, desolate. Then, quietly, he spoke again. “I thirst.” One of the soldiers dipped a sponge in some vinegar, mounted it on a short reed and stretched it up to Jesus. In a voice trembling with emotion, it seemed, Jesus said, “Tetelestai – It is finished.” Then, deep in the earth, a tremor began that slowly grew and grew until it seemed that the very foundations of the world would crumble under its force. It was terrifying in the blackness. Wails and shouts of fear rose all around Golgotha. Both Simon's and my lamb panicked. Simon was able to control his, but mine struggled with a strength borne of terror, and I couldn't hold on. The lamb leaped to the ground and ran as if pursued by wolves. I hurried after it as best I could over the heaving ground. A panicked commotion had begun among the people, alarmed at the Earth's violent shaking. Just as I caught up to my lamb and snatched it up in my arms, the shouting of the people was suddenly cut short. I turned to several near me to ask what was happening. Their eyes were all on the cross. I turned and followed their gaze. Jesus’ head had snapped erect. All eyes were on his face, which was fully illumined by some unseen source of light. He was smiling and his eyes shone, clear and bright through his swollen flesh. He gazed toward heaven and said in a strong, vibrant voice, full of love and devotion, “Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit.” With that, he went limp, his beautiful head hanging on his chest. The crown of thorns fell, clattering to the ground at the feet of the centurion.  Jesus was dead. They would take him away later and put his body in a tomb. Simon and I turned quickly from the scene as the earth began to settle and with black hearts and blind eyes, stumbled away into the growing light.